diffrentcolours

I have just been pleasantly surprised by a health insurance company: they aren't requiring "prior authorization" for my Kesimpta prescription. The person I spoke to this afternoon checked whether I had any of the drug left (no), and whether I'd missed a dose, before arranging delivery for Thursday morning. This is the drug whose copay will meet the 2026 out-of-pocket maximum. Yes, I selected a plan in large part based on the prescription drug coverage.

bella_luugosi

Snowflake Challenge: A warmly light quaint street of shops at night with heavy snow falling.

( Challenge #6: Ten movies/episodes of shows I go back to over and over and over again. )

cathrowan

If I send a "save the date" message and say I am finalizing the details, more info later, and I don't include the venue, why would you write to ask me what the venue is? Can you not figure out that I don't have that info yet?

Current Mood: annoyed

lb_lee

(EDIT: Sneak: I have updated healthymultiplicity.com with our new email address and also fixed the homepage redirect error. Tomorrow, I will focus on cross-posting all our public DW posts to make them publicly accessible again, and maybe update hm.com with back-up links.)

Rogan: Okay, thank fuck, there were a few snowballing complications, but I finally have a working public-facing email again.

I am using the Dreamwidth forwarding address feature, so in case my new public email gets killed, I can just keep the same address and avoid this kinda chaos again. (I should've done this earlier, but this is one of the many features of Dreamwidth that I never paid attention to, because up until this moment, I never needed or wanted such a thing.)

If you need to get ahold of us, you can now drop us a line at lb_lee at dreamwidth.org. For as long as this site or us are still around, and as long as this feature is part of a Paid account, it should hold.

Working on updating healthymultiplicity.com to update our new address, and then finally getting around the Mississippi blog ban that I've needed to take care of for months. Stay tuned!

Current Mood: busy
Crossposts: https://lb-lee.insanejournal.com/1952.html

finding_helena

Leveling up to expert tier home baking: starting at 7am, by 9am I had two things finished and two more still baking. Just waiting for the last item to crisp up a bit more so I can take it out of the oven and then go run my errands.

Alexa now has a counselor appointment from 4-5 on Tuesdays, and Tuesday is the day I flip my schedule so I tend to be useless in the afternoon because I'm either asleep or trying to be. We decided Amelia will be in charge of Tuesday dinners from now on. Last week she made rice and beans. It was okay but not thrilling. This week she wants to make pad Thai with tofu. Leo got twitchy about the tofu and Amelia said she doesn't like working with meat so will be making vegetarian dishes. Can't say I blame her. I usually delegate most working with raw meat to Alec.

I managed to clear out a bunch of old sneakers (found a place online where they can be shipped for recycling) but still need to figure out what to do with Alexa's old clothes. I don't want to give them to Goodwill for reselling; I want them to go directly to kids who need them. I wrote to one place but never heard back. I have a couple of ideas though.

Alec and I downloaded Todoist and so far I like it.

cereta posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am at a loss for what to do with my almost 11-year-old.

He argues constantly about everything. Here’s an example of the arguing: We made gingerbread houses this weekend. He got home from school, and I gave him a snack. While he was eating, he said, “I’m going to smash the gingerbread house on Christmas.” I said, “Nope, we do it on New Year’s Eve.” He said, “I made mine, so I get to smash it when I want.” I replied, “Nope, we always do it on New Year’s.” He kept repeating himself until I finally said, “We are done arguing, just drop it.” To which he retorted, “You just drop it!” I then asked him to go anywhere in the house besides the kitchen because he was still talking about it after I asked him to stop. (I couldn’t leave, I was helping his sitter get a snack, and doing dishes.) He then yelled at me, “You leave! Why do I have to leave if you’re the one with the problem?”

This happens every time he talks to me. I don’t get it. I want to spend time with him, but he is so hard and angry right now. He is so exhausting. He is nice to everyone else except his little sister and me. Whenever she talks to him, he makes fun of how she said something. Please help!

—Argued Out

Dear Argued Out,

It seems as if your son is truly upset with something other than what you’re actually arguing about. For example, in the case of the gingerbread house, he seemed upset about the loss of autonomy in making decisions about the house that he created, rather than the actual fact of not being allowed to smash it on Christmas. Does he feel like you always make all of the big and little decisions, while he isn’t allowed to make any? During these tween ages, it’s totally normal to want more freedom. It sounds like that could be the case, but you’ll need to ask him directly. Approach him in a quiet moment—not when you’re in the middle of a squabble and try to get to the bottom of it and his emotions. But make sure to stress that there is a way to respectfully share his feelings, especially when talking to his little sister. Also, think about the small ways that you can let him make his own decisions. Smashing his own gingerbread house, for example, doesn’t really hurt anyone else. So, sometimes, consider letting him make decisions that aren’t necessarily the ones you’d make.

In these day-to-day situations, do your best to keep calm. If your emotions start to rev up, his will automatically do the same. Then ask him why he wants to do something and encourage him to rephrase what he is saying. The fact that he only gets angry with you and his sister shows that he’s capable of communicating and expressing himself, but is too frustrated in those moments to do so. I’m unsure of where this inability is ultimately coming from, but some conversations with a therapist—for the whole family—during calmer times when emotions aren’t running so high would be beneficial for everyone. Good luck!

—Arionne

unicornduke

things melted last week and everything was mud, so I got a couple days break from spreading straw. weirdly, my problem elbow hurt more when I wasn't using it constantly than when I was. Not sure what's up with that. The temperature dropped again, so the ground froze again. Did another load at dawn this morning but discovered a belt had worn weirdly on the shredder, so I need to run to town today and get a new one before we shred more.

The pottery class I was going to take isn't actually available on Wed, their only evening hours are mondays from 5-8 and they only just updated that on facebook and haven't emailed me back. I'm busy that night, so that's out. I could theoretically do day classes but with how short the days are, any daylight is needed for work hours especially if I need extra warmup time between morning and afternoon. ETA: I found another studio with wed classes and easier signup procedures. done.

I did go to spinners guild on sunday and it was a gosh dang delight including one of the longer term guild members coming this time who is queer in so many ways and everyone was lovely to him. It was so so so nice and relaxing. I think for the next meeting I'm going to get either my electric wheel battery up and running or take my smaller wheel and start an alpaca spin on it. My CPW is too big and loud for the space we've been meeting in. I got there right at 1pm and was still one of the later arrivals, so clearly I need to get there even earlier :)

We have started the wood stove indoors back up, so that's nice. I missed it. We ran out of wood that size and it had gotten warm, so there was less point in running it. Dad got on the roof and cleaned the chimney out while it was off, so that was nice and split some of the wood at the rental into wood stove size for both their house and mine.

I did kickstart my parents into doing work on their house! I sanded their office floor and then mom cleaned it and we sealed and finished it together. Definitely one of those times where it would have been faster with just one person, but so be it. My dad has been working on their living room wall drywall which is next in line. They do have renters moving into the rental Feb 1, so there is painting to be done there, plus some other small misc stuff. Parents' house also needs paint so I will be helping with some amount of painting. I didn't do drywall in my upstairs bathroom yet as expected, but I'm planning to later this week when dad is around to help me move the drywall outside to cut and then upstairs to get in place. They do have an extremely firm deadline of house renovations of June when my dad's college buddies are coming to visit, so there's that. We did discover that nice foosball tables are extremely heavy and it would be good to have more than two people to get it in a bilco basement door. I didn't get squished but it was very very heavy. After we got it down there, my dad said, you know, I think it did say something about being over 200lbs. hmm. thanks dad. Although we would have had to get a cousin or something to come help, which my parents are slightly allergic to asking for help, so I dunno if that would have happened anyway. We do have a vague plan to get the floor done which is good and there is progress happening. Given my parents hated the smell of the seal and finish, we are waiting to move them into the house until the living room/dining room/kitchen are all sealed and finished.

Winter is one of those times where I am just sleepy a lot, so I do accept this as a fact of life but also am fully aware that I am relatively isolated from the local area. In NY, I had an established friend groups, I had places I could go when I wanted a little socializing or crafting with folks, all sorts of things. Here I don't have any of that, so I'm trying to find something. Over the summer, I was so busy with the farm that I didn't really notice, but now I really can tell. To be fair, I have three nights a week where I have weekly social opportunities, but they are all digital. I know I need to push myself and get out there but it's hard and farm work is a bit unpredictable with when we need to run for straw and things. So spinners guild was excellent. I'm hoping to go to a meetup this saturday, although I'll be missing gaming with Jade that night for it. I need to do something thur/fri nights. And maybe some saturdays during the day. Hmm.

smokingboot

'There's such a thing as chemo hair,' said the hairdresser some time back, despite me repeatedly trying to tell her that what I had was radiotherapy, not chemotherapy. 'Same for your hair, almost,' she said. I don't think it is, but she was on a roll. 'When your hair first grows back, it's going to be strange. Still got the chemo in it you see. Might as well shave it all off, the next growth is better.'

I ignored her because I am not shaving my head for someone who tells me chemo and radiotherapy are effectively the same thing. So it has grown. And I have to admit, it's not great. The trouble is knowing the difference between ageing hair, treated hair, radiotherapied hair, cancer hair and whatever the hell else is going on. Also, it itches, the colour doesn't last, and the last time she coloured my hair it burned my scalp. I had to stop her.

Right now it looks dry, brittle. There is some shine, but not my normal shine. The nurses were a bit more useful. 'It's going to change, they said, 'colour change, texture change, maybe it will start being wavy.' I asked them if I should shave my head. 'That's up to you,' they said, 'but you don't need to.' I told them about the hairdresser. They tried to be polite.

Now I have seaweed shampoo and conditioner. Let's see what happens.

Yesterday I did stuff that needed doing and took effort, today I started one thing, ended up doing two others, more productive than I have been but.. truth is that by 11 I am done. If I am to get anything really sorted I have to get up early in the morning and do it straight away. And yet, how true is this, really? I stayed up late doing the place plan. That wasn't creative as such, it was recording, taxing in a different way and once I finished it I collapsed into near torpor for weeks. Let's be honest, I couldn't do it again.

The whole after cancer thing is driving me mad. I'll talk to the doctor soon. This fatigue is just ridiculous, the depression less insidious because I know its cause but still damaging. All they are going to say to me is that we can try Tamoxifen, but its rep for side effects is worse than Letrozole, and it took me long enough to get used to the latter. Ten years like this? I know, time to be grateful, make the best of it, people are facing much worse. If I can cover my head in kelp I'm doing OK.

smokingboot

For your lost love. Maybe it wasn't real, maybe it wasn't lost, but mood is mood.

https://open.substack.com/pub/smokingboot/p/eros-and-psyche?r=1r9jj7&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

jazzyjj posting in

awesomeers

It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!

Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!

shewhostaples

two log cabins with snow on the roofs in a wintery forest the text snowflake challenge january 1 - 31 in white cursive text

Top 10 challenge

I'm onna train, so here are 10 railway stations I like. In no particular order, and for various different reasons.

1. Frankfurt Hbf. This was where my international rail travels began. Standing on the concourse, looking at the departure boards (getting slightly earwormed by Stuttgart and Fulda), realising that I could get pretty much anywhere from here...

2. London St Pancras. It's beautiful. It's not actually a terribly pleasant experience getting a train from here (maybe the East Midlands and South Eastern platforms are better) but from the outside it's a fairy tale castle.

3. Stockholm. Rolling in, bleary eyed, off the sleeper from Malta, through dingy orange lights, and then suddenly you're in this marble palace. (I got chugged in Stockholm station. I don't know what I was doing to look like a Swede with disposable income rather than a discombobulated tourist, but there we go.)

4. London King's Cross. Never mind all that wizard nonsense, it has a fully functional platform zero. Also the toilets are free these days.

5. Liège Guillemins. Just glorious.

6. Ryde Pier Head. When it's operational and when you don't just miss the train because the catamaran was thirty seconds late. But there's still something fun about a station in the sea.

7. Dawlish. Train to beach in under a minute (your mileage may vary, as may mine considering I haven't been there in about a decade).

8. York. Never mind a pub in the station, it has one on the platform. Lovely stained glass, too.

9. Norwich. Light, gracious, makes you glad you've arrived.

10. Luxembourg. Stained glass again - and just time for an ice cream before the train.

xkcd_feed

https://xkcd.com/3193/

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft sail bigger, but apparently that means it's not a yawl anymore! It's a real ketch-22.

https://xkcd.com/3193/

cornerofmadness

Started with my annual wellness check. I have some things she wants me to do that I agree need being done (endoscopy/colonoscopy) and isn't sure that coughing thing I do some times IS the hiatal hernia. My tachycardia is getting worse. She's wondering if I'm going into arrythmias and the coughing is resetting it. I'll be doing some testing for that. You'd think she'd order a halter monitor but she didn't. Just wants me to get a pulse ox for now.

Monday is an easy day. I have 1 new student in my upper level A&P and one didn't show but otherwise, it went well. Tomorrow is much more likely to be issuey.

Here's a funny thing from yesterday. Even though I had the thing on timer I was making a pastina soup and...it boiled out of the pot and burnt the pasta to the bottom. I told this to my parents and they started laughing. Mom did exactly the same thing with her soup too.

And it's music monday 30 weeks of music. This week's prompt is #9 a song you could exercise to. Believe it or not I HAVE an exercise playlist for when I'm at my brother's and doing aerobics in the pool. Since that contains slow warm up/cool downs I'll share some of the more driving ones.

( right under here )

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Murder She Wrote

rocky41_7 posting in

booknook

Title: Empty Wardrobes
Author: Maria Judite de Carvalho
Translator: Margaret Jull Costa
Genre: Fiction, literary

I collect false treasures in empty wardrobes.

This quote by Paul Eluard opens book #14 from the "Women in Translation" rec list, which continues to fatten up my TBR list. This is Empty Wardrobes by Maria Judite de Carvalho, translated from Portuguese by Margaret Jull Costa. This novella, originally published in the 1960s, is about the ways in which women are subsumed by the men in their lives, or otherwise are buffeted about with less control over their lives than they ought to have.

The forward by Kate Zambreno is a wonderfully complementary piece. She talks about the anger she feels going to a woman's funeral and hearing the dead woman sanctified by men in her life who did nothing but take from her, who can speak of her only to praise what she did for others, and can say nothing about what the woman herself was.

Sometimes you can read a book and just know the author was angry when she wrote it. This is one of those. The book uses the phrase "discreet rage" about one of its characters, and I think that sentiment succinctly describes the whole book. The protagonist, Dora Rosario, is ten years into widowhood, and she has devoted her entire life to mourning her unremarkable husband as much as she had previous devoted her life to supporting his every opinion regardless of whether or not she agreed with it. Now, a decade on, her mother-in-law reveals something about Dora's late husband that changes her entire perspective.

I would like to believe we are moving away from the world portrayed in Empty Wardrobes (though not with as much success as I'd like), but this is a stark reminder of how even a few generations ago, in the Sixties, a woman's identity was so controlled by her husband's. There are only two men in this book--Duarte, Dora's dead husband, and Ernesto, the longtime partner of a side character--and they both, through social structures, exercise incredible control over the lives of the women around them without any respect or even knowledge of their impact.

The three main women in this book--Dora, her daughter Lisa, and the narrator--each take a different approach to the male romantic partners in their lives, and none of them comes out the better for it (well, perhaps for Lisa, but I personally doubt it will last), because the ultimate problem is societal attitudes about the way men and women are meant to relate to each other.

It's not a long book, and I can't say much more without spoiling things, but I also think it does some fabulous things with its narration and perspective, and the way it doles out information. Really an excellent framing that allows for a lot of fluidity and filling in gaps with your own visions while remaining clear in the nature of the story it's telling.

This book was only translated into English in 2021, which is a shame, because I think it would have struck a nerve much earlier, but we have it now! Costa does an excellent job with the work too; the writing is full of punchy phrases like the above, and she captures some realistic dialogue--characters repeating themselves, responding in ways that don't quite match up with what was asked, etc.--while keeping it natural-sounding.

lassarina

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

tsuki_no_bara

hello my flist! i had such high hopes for the new year and, just, pfft. it's

snowflake_challenge season and i haven't even posted for that. oy.

anyway i hope your 2026 has been decent-to-good so far or at least not worse than 2025.

for new year's i went to my sister's and we went out for dinner (delish) and watched a lot of lotr, pausing only to watch the ball drop in times square. i like a good tradition but she may or may not want to do something different this year. we'll see. and for christmas she came to my house and we drove around to look at people's holiday lights and got chinese takeout and watched wake up, dead man on netflix because we both felt too meh to go out. (i liked it but i think i liked the first one the best.) and like four days before that my cousin's youngest kid got married in dc and i brought a cold with me and lost my voice at the wedding. wtf. that made it very difficult to talk to cousins which did not stop me. but it also meant i was still sick or recovering for the entirety of my time off. whiiine. at least i had two weeks off to cough up a lung and sit on my couch and be tired, rather than having to take sick days or work from home a lot. but still! i had a lot of time off and couldn't even enjoy most of it! and i had plans! which were mostly "watch tv, work on holiday project for writing group, start pumpkin spice cross stitch". sigh.

(while in dc my sister and i did a little sightseeing, which included a farmer's market down the street from the hotel - it was SO WINDY but there were lots of dogs - a walk around the washington monument, a stroll down the reflecting pool, and a little talk by a park ranger in the lincoln memorial.)

we got snow a couple times tho, that was nice. i'm a big fan of waking up to snow on the ground. :D especially new year's day! it was just enough to shovel but if it had been, say, four inches, i would've enjoyed that too.

during my time off i met admin s who works at the libraries for lunch and a week later i met one of the admins m for lunch and both of those things were really nice, partly because i enjoy a lunch out and partly because it was just nice to see people. and i never see admin s because i don't work with her any more. i also had mexican brunch with

tamalinn and friend a and friend a's hubs and that was fun and also delicious. and saturday i got a haircut. :D

before the haircut i went to cousins j&m's for brunch and to say hi and goodbye to their kids before they went back to school, and friday night my sister and i took cousin p on dad's side out for dinner for her birthday. it was yummy (i had black pasta with shrimp and calamari) and they brought cousin p a slice of flourless chocolate cake for her birthday. my sister and i ate most of it.

work re-entry was fine and going to campus was weird because it's been like three weeks since i was there. classes don't start until february so it's very quiet but again, it's nice to see people.

things i did in november and december:

went record album/antique shopping with tamalinn and friend a and bought the go-gos' beauty and the beat, heart's little queen, and a cookbook from the 50s full of buffet recipes
saw wicked pt 1 (again) in preparation for seeing wicked pt 2
went out to dinner with my sister and cousin j (of j&m)
fetched the mothership at the airport for tday
went out for bday dinner with mom, sister, cousins j&r, and the aforementioned lone cousin j
got snowed on in harvard square :DDD
had brunch with cousins from mom's side
bought a dress for the wedding
did not need to buy shoes
had dinner with cousins from dad's side
had mom and sister over for dinner (i made pork chops because i could)
went to j&m's for tday
ate a lot
saw wicked pt 2 (not bad but i liked pt 1 better, also why did the story have to be two movies?)
went to snowport (boston holiday market, down by the seaport) where i bought a print of a pickle sign and saw the lobster nativity
borrowed a bolero jacket from one of the admins m for the wedding because the dress is sleeveless and it was a jewish wedding and i'd have to cover my shoulders
went to the holiday market at the somerville armory and bought a blockprint of a medieval looking fish and a print of my favorite local bridge
one of the vendors had a print with a drawing of a guillotine and the legend "a better world is possible!" heh.
watched red one (so cute, so silly)
went to friend r's to watch the thin man because it's set around christmas and while i don't know how successful it was as a murder mystery i liked nick and nora as a couple and overall enjoyed it
saw the housemaid (had some twists i appreciated and i liked it)
curled lots, made a couple good shots and a lot more acceptable-to-missed shots
finished the lowdown (liked it, recommend it, didn't love the way the murder plot shook out)
watched talasmasca: the secret order (partly because of elizabeth mcgovern going "talamasssca" in the trailers) (mostly liked it altho i didn't really like the protagonist - he thought he was the smartest person in the room and every time he got in over his head, which was pretty much the entire show, women showed up to get him out of trouble)
watched hysteria! (about a high school heavy metal garage band that pretends to be a satanic cult to get fans, and then shit goes off the rails) (it's set in 1987 and got a lot of the satanic panic right but was otherwise only glancingly historical which made me twitch. was fun altho did i mention it went totally off the rails?)
rewatched stranger things s1-s4 with folks on discord in preparation for s5
watched s5 (i have mixed feelings about the season as a whole but i was pretty satisfied with how it ended)

so this news is massachusetts based and one of my friends even works for massdot and DID NOT TELL ME and i had to learn from a snowflake challenge from someone who doesn't even live here and now i share with you the winners of the name-a-snowplow contest. the entries all came from public school classrooms (k-8) and the plows are in service this winter. sleet caroline! clearopathra! you're killing me squalls! read and giggle.

speaking of mass, the boston aquarium built an old folks home for their geriatric penguins. how cute is that?

in the wake of dump and his administration cutting funding to universities mackenzie scott (aka the former mrs jeff bezos) donated $80m to howard university, an hbcu (historically black colleges and universities, for the non-americans in the audience), which is one of the biggest single donations in the school's history. she got billions of dollars when she split from jeff and she's definitely using her powers for good.

i know thanksgiving was last year and these are probably quite sold out but i must share the "no-thanks" jell-o molds. you could get ~~canberry~~ canned cranberry jelly, pecan pie, and brussel sprouts. i don't like brussel sprouts at all but the round little molds are so cute.

joe keery officiated a wedding in his scoops ahoy uniform. for the stranger things fen in the audience. :D

i must share one of the scariest videos i've ever seen - a guy climbing up and then skiing down mt everest with no supplemental oxygen. i'm sorry, but watching him ski down that mountain, especially from the top, is fucking terrifying. i'm not afraid of heights but absolutely not, no way.

sir david attenborough sends a hedgehog on its way. to end with something cute.

dave grohl vs animal drum battle. and something fun. :D

Current Mood: SO BEHIND
Current Music: the kitchen timer is ticking

cyberneticdryad

I actually got a lot done this past week, though most of it was general upkeep rather than my goals list as brainfog and exhaustion made things a little harder. On the bright side, I think my cough has finally subsided enough that I can do some running this week!

GYWO: Write 20 minutes 1/4
Exercise 1/2
Finish cleaning desk
Schedule ONE medical appointment
Declutter Bedroom
Bake Cookies for Work
Clean Car Windows

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Save Rock and Roll - Fall Out Boy

fanf

https://dotat.at/@/2026-01-12-hqlr.html

A while back I wrote about the linear rate limit algorithms leaky bucket and GCRA. Since then I have been vexed by how common it is to implement rate limiting using complicated and wasteful algorithms (for example).

But linear (and exponential) rate limiters have a disadvantage: they can be slow to throttle clients whose request rate is above the limit but not super fast. And I just realised that this disadvantage can be unacceptable in some situations, when it's imperative that no more than some quota of requests is accepted within a window of time.

In this article I'll explore a way to enforce rate limit quotas more precisely, without undue storage costs, and without encouraging clients to oscillate between bursts and pauses. However I'm not sure it's a good idea.

( Read more... )

unicornduke

Hey all, if you'd like to join the crafting hangout, it is tonight from 6-8pm ET!

Video encouraged but not required!

Topic: Crafting Hangout

Time: Mondays 6:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

Link

Meeting ID: 973 2674 2763

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diffrentcolours

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You Don't Live Like I Do

At the mercy of any sister with wrist scars and black eye goo

Network

Kesimpta prescription

Snowflake challenge prompt 6

Argh

New Email

Housekeeping

Care and Feeding: My Son Argues Endlessly

muddling through winter

Hair

An old poem

Just one thing: 13 January 2026

Interesting Links for 13-01-2026

Snowflake Challenge: day 6

Sailing Rigs

First Day back

Book review: Empty Wardrobes

2026 Goals

it's winter, you get penguins

Weekly Goals 2026: 03

hybrid quota-linear rate limiter

crafting monday time

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January 2026

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