You Don't Live Like I Do

Coming in one afternoon, at an hour when he hoped he might avoid tea-table company, he met Mrs Knowles on the stairs on her way out, made civil – for she was not only an excellent musical friend for Zipsie, her husband was a chap that one would very much wish to know better and be on good terms with. Known for quite the soundest advice in financial matters – had saved a deal of his acquaintance from bad investments – very well-connected –

Mrs Knowles smiled at him and said, Lady Rondegate was looking exceeding well, but hoped she was not over-doing – those boisterous sisters of hers were very good-hearted creatures but –

Cecil grinned. Their exuberance can be a little wearing! And this performance for Lady Abertyldd’s birthday makes demands –

Mrs Knowles gave a genteel snort. I apprehend that young Oliver still lingers in Heggleton – was he in Town he might take some of the burden of rehearsals from her –

Why, his grandfather writes that he comes around to showing very responsible over learning about their business, and matters to do with the election.

Her mouth quirked. That is something! – for although Ollie was no longer embroiled with that dangerous fast set had still been something of an idle wastrel about Town – but I must be upon my ways.

Cecil bowed over her hand as they made their farewells. He proceeded to the music-room, that was where he supposed Zipsie would have been entertaining Mrs Knowles.

There was, indeed, evidence of tea and the crumbs of cake!

Zipsie was sat at the pianoforte, picking out a tune – good lord, it was Clo Marshall’s 'Oo does 'e think 'e is?

She turned and smiled. Do you ring for tea, should you care for some – or something stronger, mayhap?

A very small brandy and soda would come very agreeable, he conceded, and went to ring.

When this had come, along with a bowl of smoked nuts, and he had refreshed himself, she swung around on the piano-stool and said that he had found her out in trying to work out one of those very pleasing tunes she had heard him playing when she passed the smoking-room t’other day.

Why, he responded, raising his eyebrows somewhat, 'tis one of Clo Marshall’s songs –

Oh, I have heard so much about those, from Ollie and Folly, but they say very unsuited to ladies’ ears – she snorted in a most unladylike fashion – mayhap the words are vulgar? but the tunes are very clever, I am not at all give to wonder that they are whistled everywhere.

She grinned. La, one is told that the errand-boys in Vienna went about whistling the tunes from Mozart’s operas! There is a deal of nonsense about low taste –

He looked at his wife. There was really something most out of the common about Zipsie. That had ever found conventionality somewhat constraining – one saw that being married and freed from the edicts on the conduct proper to a young lady that had not yet attained that state was most congenial to her –

Why, the words may be somewhat vulgar – in the cant of the lower orders, Cockney – but not in the least coarse – very amuzing – Miss Marshall has a great talent for presenting 'em – fine voice –

Zipsie sighed. I daresay 'twould not be proper to go attend one of her performances?

He considered upon this. My dear, I can see ways that it might be contrived, but as things are at present, fancy 'twould be a little imprudent.

O, entirely, she sighed. That was one of the reasons for Mrs Knowles’ call – to give me the sound advice on the management of my condition that she had had from her mother – has not everybody cried up the late Lady Ferraby to me as the entire paragon in such matters?

The clock chimed.

Fie, I should go dress for dinner! – do you dine at home the e’en?

Indeed I do.

He rang for another small brandy and soda before going to change himself, musing upon whether they should give a dinner-party afore Town was completely deserted – might one invite the Grigsons? Lady Lucretia was in mourning for her brother, that was, it was give out, no great loss, but a quiet dinner party would surely be permissible? The Knowles – unless they were going out of Town to one or other of their family connexion – had he not heard that the Demingtons still lingered? – mayhap the Samuels –

It was a very reassuring sight to observe with what great appetite Zipsie ate her vittles at dinner! He remarked upon this, at which she grinned. Law, do I not feel sick, I am quite ravenous, 'tis one or t’other all day. Either nibbling a little dry toast, or devouring a beefsteak. Mrs Knowles tells me that matters are wont to regularize in due course, that I am glad to hear.

That minded him that she had said that there was another reason for Mrs Knowles’ call – I hope, my dear, that is she soliciting you to perform at her musical soirées, you will not be overdoing –

O, she did mention that, mayhap, when Society finally returns to Town, and I will be feeling more the thing, that would be on the cards, but what she was concerned about was Thea –

Thea?

This matter of Miss Billston’s songs of Sappho, that are indeed quite exquisite, and that are entirely suited to Thea’s voice, but Mrs Knowles came about to apologize for being pressing on the matter, and hopes has not embarrassed Thea, knowing how very strict Lord Pockinford’s views are, and Sappho not only being a pagan poetess, but noted for her passionate devotion to women.

Cecil blinked.

Alas, she says, here we were, brought up in the Raxdell House Phalanstery, acquired rather broader notions concerning who might rightly love who – observed fine examples of female devotion –

What?

Zipsie looked at him. Why, there are Miss McKeown and Miss Lewis, have been the dearest of friends this entire age – Lady Jane Knighton’s fine affection to Miss Addington – the Ladies of Attervale and of Yeomans – and she told me, there was quite the deepest devotion 'twixt the late Lady Ferraby and Dowager Lady Bexbury.

Is it not give out they were related?

O, beyond any mere feeling for kindred! But, alas, there is Lord Pockinford, that speaks out against sisterhoods, that seem a very sensible solution for ladies that do not marry, and would one fears feel the same about ladies that find mutual society, help, and comfort with one another rather than a husband.

Cecil stared at his wife. This was quite the revelation, both about these happy female couples, and Zipsie’s entirely commonsensical feelings about 'em.

He gulped. I have observed, he said at length, that there may be similar devotions between men….

'Tis indeed rumoured, said Zipsie, but does one mention it one is cautioned not to speak thus, because of the injustices of the law.

She fell silent, frowning. After some minutes, she said, I have observed that you and Mr Davison sort exceeding well together – come about on excellent terms – fine manly friendship?

Cecil looked across the table at her and then down at his hands. He swallowed. Indeed I come into a more than usual, one may only call it fondness for him, and he to me. But – he also greatly likes you – and we would not for the world do anything you liked not, Zipsie –

She paused again, arranging the orange peel on her plate into patterns. After a considerable while she cleared her throat and began, sure I have found marriage a great deal more agreeable than I anticipated, and you far exceed my expectations in a husband! Very much was, o, this is a thing I am obliged to do. But –

She blushed. I was talking once to Aunty Dodo, when I was somewhat younger, and said it must be a fine thing to marry a musician – I had something of a girlish admiration then for Uncle Casimir – and she sighed, and said, music can be a demanding mistress and then put her hand to her mouth and begged me not to disclose what she had said to Mama. But while I may not be a composer to compare with Uncle Casimir, nonetheless, I am, I find, a musician.

And there was a conversation I had lately with Mrs Lucas, that happened to remark that she kept a space in her life for poetry – there she is, the fondest of wives and mothers, doatingest of grandmothers, &C – said that as she went about her day kept by her ivory tablets to jot down lines or thoughts she had, for such time as she might give her mind to composition.

So while I do not think I will ever become one of those ladies that goes dally with gentlemen that are not my lawful wedded husband, there is something that is a passion – that I fancy might at times preoccupy me in ways that some husbands might resent, for whom one is supposed to forsake all others, and I daresay that would include the muses.

Also, she said with a grin, there is Mr Davison has that very snug fellowship at Oxford, 'tis not the like of setting up some Miss in a villa in St John’s Wood like Lord Iffling and decking her with jewellery. She giggled at his expression. La, Lady Lucretia disclosed to me certain family matters over the teacups one day.

Zipsie, said Cecil, you are quite magnificent and a paragon amongst womankind. And, he thought with an inward grin, as well as a fine musician, the grand-daughter of Sir Oliver Brumpage, he had noted that when she was about the household books!

Zipsie wrinkled her nose and said, she fancied she was what they deemed an odd specimen.

He opened to her the project of going to Wepperell Larches – bachelor party including Sallington and Julius Roberts – giving it out that I have some notion to making a Persian garden –

She raised her eyebrows. Then said that 'twould certainly look somewhat less particular. And minded that they, too, were bred in the Raxdell House Phalanstery.