You Don't Live Like I Do

Nosferatwo

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 00:13:04 GMT

Just back from seeing Nosferatu with E and V. Second time for me as I caught it with P a few weeks ago.

It's a great movie. Not an easy watch, not least because the old school cinematography is a little slow paced for modern tastes. Count Orlok is genuinely horrific, far from the romantic vampire and closer to Romanian folklore.

( Mild Spoilers )

Today is also the first anniversary of Bat's death. I've been feeling a bit weird about it all day. I wasn't sure how to commemorate the occasion, but spending time with loved ones and watching a movie which contains at least a certain amount of monster fucking seems in retrospect to be quite fitting.

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Bat's Memorial

Mon, 27 May 2024 00:01:59 GMT

Last night, a memorial was held for Bat in the back yard of his house in Texas. It was live-streamed for those of us unable to be there in person. It started at midnight UK time, but didn't really kick off until Bat's ashes arrived. For some reason, and in very Bat-like fashion, they were three hours late.

While we waited, cosmolinguist and I were chatting to various friends-of-Bat on Discord, swapping selfies and pictures of our pets, as well as memories, jokes and stories. Someone contributed a poem to the Discord which was later read out to the in-person gathering. We had a few drinks, watched people meandering around on the live stream (but couldn't really hear anything.

It was 3am by the time people started talking over the PA system, telling stories, memories, poems etc. The stories were pretty much what you'd expect of Bat - drunken shenanigans, combined with a kindness and love for everyone he knew. He loved us, and he helped us love ourselves better. Many people attending were his found family, a lot of them rejected queer kids whom he adopted and looked after.

We tapped out about 4am, unable to stay awake any longer, but it was a lovely commemoration. Apparently after we signed off, someone read out E's wonderful poem, which he'd shared with everyone on Discord earlier.

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Bat

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 22:08:32 GMT

I posted this to social media on Wednesday. I meant to post it here but I haven't been on my laptop much recently.

I woke up this morning to learn that Bat is no longer with us. One of my oldest and dearest friends, we met via Usenet in the late 90s. We flirted shamelessly on ICQ late at night when I had lectures in the morning.

We drifted in and out of touch for a while in the noughties, but always managed to bump into each other again, often with a new handle, name, or pronouns. It seemed a wonderful inevitability that we would always be in each other's lives, and I am sad beyond words that this is no longer true.

I'm so glad we managed to meet in person a few years ago when he came to the UK, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn about the friends we had in common or at one remove. I remember going to Cane & Grain for his opinion on Texas ribs ("good ribs, but this is a South Carolina sauce"), and introducing him to a lamb Sunday roast. He was the first guest in my house's spare bedroom and we've referred to it as "Bat's room" ever since. We often talked about when he might come stay again.

We shared monsterfucking memes and videos of hench women (he was always looking for someone who could bench press him). I'll always get a funny tingle and think of him when I see a black nitrile glove, and I honestly can't think of a better commemoration.

Goodbye Batrick. You'd better come haunt my dreams. I love you.

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